When an evaluation highlights emotional difficulties (anxiety, sadness, oppositional behavior, isolation), parents are often faced with a recommendation: start therapy with a psychologist or psychoeducator. But how do you bring it up with the child without them shutting down, feeling guilty, or judged?
Listen and Reassure
Before explaining, take time to listen. Ask what your child thinks a psychologist does and what worries them. Address fears (“I don’t want to go, I’m not crazy”) and reassure them: seeing a psychologist is not a punishment or a sign of weakness, but a way to get support and feel better.
Possible wording:
“When your stomach hurts, you go to the doctor. When your emotions hurt, you can go to a psychologist.”
Normalize and Explain Simply
Present the psychologist as someone who helps children manage emotions and find solutions. Use a concrete image: an “emotions coach.”
Possible wording:
“A psychologist is someone who can teach you tricks to calm your stress, handle your anger better, or find ways to feel less sad.”
Adapt the Message to the Child’s Profile
- Anxious or sad child: Emphasize support and listening.
“You’re dealing with a lot of stress right now. It’s not your fault, and you don’t have to go through it alone.” - Oppositional child: Avoid framing it as punishment. Present it as a shared project.
“We can see things are tough for you right now. We want to find someone who can help both you and us make things better.”
Offer Some Freedom
Suggest trying just one session, making it clear they can talk at their own pace.
Possible wording:
“We’ll meet this person once to see how it goes. You don’t have to say everything right away. You’ll see for yourself if it helps.”
Balance Patience and Determination
Some children remain resistant. In that case, remind them it’s your role as a parent to seek help when things are not going well, while keeping a caring attitude.
Possible wording:
“I understand you don’t feel like it. But I can see you’re struggling, and I can’t do nothing. We’ll try this together.”
In Summary
- Listen before trying to convince.
- Reassure and normalize the process.
- Adapt your message to your child’s profile.
- Suggest an initial meeting rather than a long-term commitment.
- Stay present, patient, and supportive.
Therapy can become a safe space where a child feels understood and supported. What matters is not explaining everything at once, but planting the idea that they are not alone and that they deserve to feel better.
What if the Child Still Refuses?
Despite your best efforts, your child may remain closed off and refuse therapy. What can you do then? A few options:
- Involve a trusted third party: Sometimes a suggestion from someone other than the parent—like a teacher, grandparent, family friend, or coach—can feel less threatening.
- Use external resources: Books, stories, or videos can explain therapy to children, demystifying what happens during a session and reducing fear.
- Go yourself first: Parents can meet with a psychologist before the child. This shows by example that there is nothing shameful about seeking help and provides strategies to prepare the child gradually.
- Stay patient and consistent: Resistance can be a façade. Even if they refuse, keep reminding them they are not alone and that help is available. With time, curiosity or need often leads children to accept.
Conclusion: Combining Care with Determination
Encouraging a child to begin therapy is a process requiring time, empathy, and careful communication. There is no magic formula, but by understanding their fears and speaking with compassion, parents maximize the chances of their child accepting the help they need.
Key points to remember:
- Listen to worries first and validate emotions.
- Explain simply what a psychologist does and normalize the process.
- Adapt the message to the child’s profile (anxious, sad, oppositional).
- Suggest a trial session, respecting their pace.
- Stay firm yet supportive when distress is significant.
- Model the behavior: show that asking for help is part of life.
With patience and consistency, most children eventually accept therapy and discover it can genuinely help them better understand and manage what they are going through.
For more information on how to encourage a child to see a psychologist and on neuropsychological evaluation, explore our resources. To get help or schedule an appointment, contact us.
